Life's Intersections: When Plans Change and God Meets Us at the Crossroads
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5-6
Standing at life's unexpected intersections can feel overwhelming, especially when our carefully laid plans crumble. But what if those crossroads moments are exactly where God meets us? This is a story about learning to surrender at each intersection, looking back to see God's faithfulness, and discovering that debriefing helps missionaries process where they've been so they can move forward with clarity and peace.
Learning to trust God at life's intersections, why looking back reveals His hand at every crossroads, and how LeRucher debriefing retreats help missionaries exchange their burdens for rest at the ultimate intersection, the cross.
Table of Contents
Standing at the Intersection
I’m a planner.
I need to think through every angle, imagine every outcome, and map the best course to get there. It’s how I’m wired. Personality tests confirm it. My kids tease me about it constantly, and honestly, they’re so much better at going with the flow than I am.
But pioneering a new ministry, especially in cross-cultural missions, has challenged everything about my need for control. There are so many unknowns—so many unexpected intersections where I didn’t know which way to turn.
Recently, God has been teaching me something profound. I keep thinking back to a dear friend who used to talk with me about life’s intersections, those crossroads moments when paths converge in ways we never planned. Her wisdom has helped me shift how I view planning and surrender.
The Tension Between Planning and Surrendering
Proverbs 16:9 says, "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps."
Notice, it doesn't say planning is wrong. It says our plans aren't sovereign. We plan our route, but God determines which intersections we encounter and which direction our feet actually go.
When we arrive at an unexpected intersection, when things don't go according to plan, we have a choice. We can spiral into feelings of failure, depression, or anxiety. Or we can remember this liberating truth: God is in control, and we can trust Him to lead, even when the road looks uncertain.
First Intimacy, Then Everything Else
What God keeps whispering to my planner's heart at every crossroads is this: He calls us first into deep intimacy with Him. He wants us to dwell closely with Him. And out of that relationship, that abiding place, everything else flows.
Jesus said it clearly in John 15:5: "Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No one can bear fruit unless they remain in the vine."
Not "plan with me." Not "navigate every intersection perfectly." Remain in me.
The fruit, the outcomes, the results, the right turns at life's crossroads, all flow from abiding, not from perfecting our navigation skills.
Living in the Moment at Each Intersection
In mission work, we can't predict which intersections we'll face. We don't even know what crossroads tomorrow will bring.
James 4:13-14 puts it bluntly: "Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."
Life is short. Tomorrow's intersections are uncertain for all of us.
This reality calls us to live fully dedicated and sold out for Jesus today, present at this intersection, not anxiously planning for crossroads we haven't reached yet.
His Ways Are Higher Than Our Ways
When we fully surrender to the Lord at each intersection, we need to know that He is the perfecter of our path. Isaiah 55:8-9 reminds us: "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
We don't know where every intersection leads. We must surrender daily to Him at each crossroads, humbling ourselves into His plan rather than demanding He validate our preferred route.
This is terrifying for a planner like me. And it's also the most freeing truth I'm learning to embrace.
Looking Back at the Intersections: The Gift of Debriefing
Here's something I'm learning about planning: sometimes the most important thing we can do at an intersection is look back at where we've been.
But looking back isn't just about seeing God's faithfulness; it's about processing the losses we experienced at each intersection. At every crossroads, there's grief. Relationships that ended. Dreams that died. Plans that crumbled. Transitions that shook us. And we rarely stop to grieve any of it. We just keep moving to the next intersection.
Debriefing creates space to finally name those losses, to grieve them well, and to grow through them rather than just push past them. Because God doesn't just meet us at intersections to redirect us. He meets us to carry us through the grief of what we left behind at each crossroads.
As missionaries and global workers, we move fast. We push through hard intersections. We experience loss after loss, grief upon grief, transition after transition, crossroads we never planned to face. And we often don't stop to process any of it. We just keep going, keep serving, keep pushing to the next intersection.
But there's a better way.
This is where LeRucher debriefing has become transformative, not just for the missionaries we serve at Compass Asia, but for my own journey, too. LeRucher debriefing creates space to look back at the intersections you've passed through to reflect on where you've been, what God was doing at crossroads you didn't understand, and what He's been teaching you through the losses and griefs you experienced at each turn.
When we look back with intentionality, we can see:
God's faithfulness at intersections where we felt abandoned
His provision at crossroads where we saw only lack
His protection at turns where we thought we'd chosen wrong
His presence at intersections where we felt utterly alone
At the heart of this process is what we call the exchange at the cross.
The Cross: The Ultimate Intersection
Think about it the cross itself is an intersection.
The vertical beam reaching from heaven to earth. The horizontal beam stretching across humanity. The intersection where God's love met human sin. Where justice met mercy. Where death met resurrection.
The cross is the ultimate picture of surrender at life's most critical intersection.
Jesus, in the garden of Gethsemane, stood at an intersection—a choice between His will and the Father's will. He prayed: "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done" (Luke 22:42).
Even Jesus, fully God and fully man, wrestled at the crossroads. And His response? Surrender. Trust. Choosing the Father's path at the intersection, even when it led to suffering.
At the cross, that sacred intersection, we bring our losses, our griefs, our shattered plans, the wrong turns we think we took, the intersections where we feel we chose poorly. We don't pretend they don't hurt. We don't spiritualize them away. We bring them honestly to Jesus.
We bring the relationships that ended at crossroads we didn't choose. The dreams that died at intersections we never saw coming. The losses we've been carrying from turn after turn without ever stopping to grieve them. At the cross, we don't just surrender our need for control; we surrender the unprocessed grief we've been carrying alone.
And Jesus doesn't minimize it. He doesn't rush us past it. He carried a cross to an intersection called Calvary, and He understands what it means to bear the weight of loss. At that sacred crossroads, He invites us to lay it down, all of it, and receive His rest.
And there, at that intersection of heaven and earth, an exchange happens.
Jesus invites us in Matthew 11:28: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." We lay down our heavy burdens—our need to control every intersection, our grief over paths not taken, our anxiety about crossroads ahead. And we receive His rest, His peace, His perspective.
1 Peter 5:7 encourages us: "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
The cross is where we remember that God doesn't waste our wrong turns or unexpected intersections. Romans 8:28 promises: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
Even the intersections where we felt lost. Even the crossroads where nothing made sense. Even the turns we thought were mistakes.
The cross changes everything because it reminds us: God's greatest victory looked like the worst intersection, absolute defeat. His most brilliant plan looked like a fatal wrong turn. Until the resurrection proved that God was sovereign over every intersection all along.
Stop. Breathe. Look Back at Your Intersections.
If you're reading this and you resonate, if you're stuck at an intersection trying to plan your next move but you don't even know where you've come from or which crossroads brought you here, please hear this:
You don't have to rush through to the next intersection.
You can stop. You can breathe. You can look back and see God's hand. You can debrief.
This isn't weakness. It's wisdom.
This isn't quitting. It's gaining clarity about where you've been so you can move forward from a healthy place.
Many missionaries and global workers are running from intersection to intersection without ever stopping to process what they experienced at the last one. You're carrying losses from crossroads you've never named, the ministry that ended, the teammate who betrayed you, the dream that died, the child you left behind at boarding school, the cultural identity you lost. You're carrying transitions you haven't debriefed and trauma from wrong turns you haven't processed.
At every intersection, there's grief. And grief doesn't disappear just because we keep moving. It accumulates. It weighs us down. It makes the next crossroads harder to navigate because we're exhausted from carrying losses we were never meant to carry alone.
And you're trying to make decisions at your current intersection from that exhausted, grief-laden place.
What Debriefing Offers You
A Lerucher debriefing retreat through Compass Asia gives you:
Permission to grieve the losses at past intersections you rushed through
Tools to process grief in healthy, redemptive ways instead of stuffing it down
Space to grow through loss rather than just survive it
Recognition that grief is normal at life's crossroads, you're not weak for feeling it. You don't have to have your whole route mapped out. You just need to stop long enough at this intersection to let God show you where He's been leading all along.
The Daily Practice of Surrender at Each Intersection
Growing Through the Grief at Life's Intersections
Here's what I'm learning: we don't just survive the hard intersections. We can actually grow through them. But only if we stop long enough to process them.
God doesn't waste the grief we experience at life's crossroads. Romans 8:28 promises He works all things together for good—including the losses, the wrong turns, the painful transitions. But we have to bring them to Him. We have to let Him carry us through the grief instead of trying to outrun it to the next intersection.
When we process our losses well—when we grieve with Jesus at the cross, that ultimate intersection—something beautiful happens. We grow. We deepen. We become more compassionate. We develop the kind of faith that can only be forged at hard crossroads.
The intersections don't just redirect us. They refine us. But only if we let God meet us in the grief of them.
What About You?
Maybe you're a planner too. Maybe you're standing at an intersection right now, paralyzed by the unknowns. Maybe you took what you thought was a wrong turn, and you're wondering if you missed God at a critical crossroads.
Can I encourage you? God's not asking you to navigate every intersection perfectly. He's asking for daily surrender at each crossroads. He's asking us to remain in Him, to trust that His ways are higher, and to be fully present at this intersection—the only one we're actually standing at right now.
Matthew 6:25, 33 reminds us: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life... But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
First the Kingdom. First intimacy. First surrender, at every intersection.
Then everything else flows from that place of abiding.
And when you look back, you'll see His hand at every crossroads.
Ready to Look Back at Your Intersections?
If you're a missionary, global worker, or cross-cultural minister standing at a crossroads and needing to process where you've been so you can move forward with clarity and health, we invite you to consider a LeRucher debriefing retreat through Compass Asia.
Take time to look back. To see God's hand at intersections you didn't understand. To grieve well. To meet Jesus at the cross—that ultimate intersection—and make the exchange. Lay down the burdens you were never meant to carry and receive His grace for whatever crossroads lies ahead.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Why is it important to process grief at life's intersections?
A: At every intersection, every transition, loss, or unexpected turn, there's grief. When we rush from crossroads to crossroads without processing what we experienced, that unprocessed grief accumulates and weighs us down. We can't navigate the next intersection well when we're exhausted from carrying losses we never grieved. Debriefing gives you space to name those losses, grieve them well with Jesus at the cross, and grow through them instead of just surviving them. God doesn't waste our grief. He meets us in it and uses it to refine us.
Q: What is Lerucher debriefing?
A: Lerucher debriefing is a structured, trauma-informed process that helps missionaries and global workers look back at life's intersections—reflecting on their experiences, processing losses and transitions, and finding healing through "the exchange at the cross," where they bring burdens to Jesus and receive His rest and perspective.
Q: Why do missionaries need to look back at life's intersections?
A: Studies indicate that up to 94% of global workers experience some form of psychological trauma during their service. Without processing the unexpected crossroads and difficult intersections they've passed through, missionaries face burnout, anxiety, and early departure from the field. Debriefing helps you see God's hand at past intersections and gain clarity for future crossroads.
Q: What is "the exchange at the cross" in debriefing?
A: The cross is the ultimate intersection, where heaven meets earth, where God's love met human sin. The exchange at the cross is a central practice in Lerucher debriefing where missionaries bring their losses, griefs, wrong turns, and burdens to Jesus at that sacred intersection and exchange them for His rest, peace, and perspective (Matthew 11:28).
Q: How does looking back help me move forward?
A: When we take time to look back at life's intersections with intentionality, we can see God's faithfulness, provision, and presence at crossroads we didn't understand at the time. This perspective gives us confidence to trust Him at future intersections and freedom from regret over past turns.
Q: What if I think I took the wrong turn at a major life intersection?
A: Debriefing helps you process those feelings and discover that God is sovereign over every intersection, even the ones where you felt you chose wrong. Romans 8:28 promises God works all things together for good. The cross itself looked like the worst wrong turn in history until the resurrection revealed God's plan.
Q: Can I just get debriefing within my own missions organization?
A: While some organizations offer internal debriefing, the most effective debriefing happens outside your organization to avoid dual relationships and conflicts of interest. When your debriefer works for the same organization, they may have divided loyalties between supporting you and protecting the institution. External debriefing provides:
True confidentiality - no organizational reporting requirements
Objective perspective - no institutional bias or agenda
Safety to be honest - no fear of career consequences for sharing struggles
Professional boundaries - debriefers aren't also your supervisors or colleagues
Neutral space - away from organizational politics and dynamics
Q: How long does healing from missionary trauma take?
A: Yes. Complex trauma, especially when it involves spiritual abuse or betrayal by trusted leaders, often requires extended healing time. The goal isn't quick fixes but authentic transformation that integrates your experiences redemptively. Professional debriefing gives you the tools and space to heal at the pace you need.
Q: What if I'm stuck at an intersection and don't know which way to turn?
A: Debriefing isn't about giving you a map for every future intersection. It's about helping you process where you've been so you can see God's faithfulness, learn to surrender at each crossroads, and trust Him one intersection at a time. You don't need the whole route—just trust for the next turn.
Q: What can I expect during a debriefing retreat?
A: Compass Asia's Exchange at the Cross retreats provide safe, structured environments where you'll work with trained facilitators and other global workers who understand your experiences. You'll learn to put words to feelings that seemed impossible to describe, process losses and grief redemptively, and discover how looking back at past intersections reveals God's faithfulness. Most participants leave with renewed hope, clearer identity, and tools to trust God at future crossroads.
Q: How do I sign up for a Compass Asia debriefing retreat?
A: Visit compassasia.org or email info@compassasia.org to learn more about our debriefing retreats, availability, and how we can support you at this intersection in your journey.
Disclaimer: This article is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional counseling, medical advice, or legal guidance. While Compass Asia exists to support the emotional, spiritual, and mental well-being of Christian global workers, we encourage individuals to seek help from qualified professionals for personal care and treatment. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, self-harm, or are in emotional crisis, please seek immediate help from a licensed mental health provider or contact emergency services in your area. You are not alone—support is available. Compass Asia is not responsible for any actions taken based on the information in this post.
